I’ve avoided speaking of topics like this. On one hand: I don’t believe I have anything to add that hasn’t been said by 20 self-improvement authors already. On the other hand: I’m also not a fan of expressing my own personal story on the internet too much. But in the end “Never give up” has pretty much been my war cry for the last 6 years, so I decided I’d share some of that with you. To start the new year right.
I’m going to start by saying that I don’t know you. For all I know, your life has seen much more hardship than mine, and you’ve accomplished more than me. Perhaps what I’ll say to you will seem simple whining. But, no matter how successful you are, I’m willing to bet that you’re going through something.
And I’m here to tell you it’s going to be okay.
It’s always been my philosophy that it’s fine to lose. Losing means that you tried something. Losing means you haven’t given up on life just yet.
And, honestly? It’s okay to lose. You’ll learn a lot more from a loss than from 100 victories.
My losses include choosing the wrong career (Mechatronics), investing in the wrong startup, not showing someone that I loved them enough. The list goes on.
And for every one of them I’ve gained something.
Because that is what losing really is, it’s a process of trial and error. You’re supposed to lose sometimes, it’s the only way that you’re ever going to learn how to win.
If you’re lucky enough tho, losing will also give you another gift. You’ll learn to be confident, to be wise, to be careful. You’ll gain experience, something that can never be taught or born with. Something you can only learn by falling head first into the ground and tasting the dirt sometimes.
And let me tell you, winning feels all the much sweeter after that process.
When it’s not in your hands
You and I both know that sometimes… sometimes things just go wrong. Sometimes the impossible happens, and it’s not in your favor.
For me this happened right after I started working remotely. My father was diagnosed with cancer that very same year and he passed away only some months after. And it thoroughly devastated me.
My life became a mess at that point, and I felt guilty for having been away for 2 years prior. No matter how much I rationalized it, the guilt just would not leave. And, perhaps without me noticing it, the grief influenced my decisions, making them rather poor. I lost sight of what’s important, because I had lost someone most important.
And life… Life happens, you know?
As much as we’d like to believe that we can control everything in our lives and create the outcome we desire, sometime’s it’s just not meant to be. Even if 99% of a given situation is in your hands, there’s always a chance that things can still go wrong.
So what do you do then?
I’m not a psychologist so I can’t speak for everyone. I do however, go to a really good one, and it’s something I recommend for everyone who’s dealing with any sort of loss. My other recommendation is to talk about it and work on yourself.
I know doing what I recommend won’t solve your issue, I know that very well. But when things are out of our hands, focusing on something that you have some control over, can make all the difference. And when you start seeing the world with positive eyes, it’s almost like it starts wanting to be that way.
Never give up.
Life is kind of like a ferris wheel. And even the luckiest of us find ourselves at the bottom of it sometimes.
My lowest point was 3 years ago. I was living on the street and full of debt. Couldn’t even afford to eat despite working 12 hour shifts (loved the office back then, had water and clean bathrooms.) I am, however, unable to feel anything but pride about that time.
Not gonna lie to you. Being poor sucks. Not being able to afford food sucks. Seeing the fruit of your work not be enough to help you survive sucks. But it was also a moment in which I had two choices: I either believed in myself and worked my butt off to get out of that one… Or I died.
I chose the first option. And I have never been more proud of myself than at that moment.
Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Life is tough, and it’s always gonna hit harder than you. But it’s not about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. It’s about how much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. – Rocky Balboa
I started this blog on January 13th, 2017. Thirteen days after that year had ended. My remote working journey started only five months later.
And It was all because I refused to stay down when life told me to do so.
Never give up.